Plushness

Just had another debate with a married man (won't say cousin ;) about the different lives that he & his wife lead. He was confessing that he has a place of his own because he needs solitude and he wants to party. Yet he tells me that his house is built to enable solitude and the best parties, but that his wife is not part of that life because she is conservative! So i asked him when did we become that society where the husband and wife have different lives? I have pictures of mom & dad partying together, so why do younger generations acquire this separate life credo? I asked him why did you marry her if she is too conservative for you? His answer: to many whys now.

Ok this is what i see the problem is: compatibility in marriage is too simplified to "good girl/guy, right family". This is not bad, but whats missing is what are the indivual compatibilities of the couple? What kind of life will they have together? Will they agree to raise their children in a certain way(s)? In the "olden" days the woman would follow the man's life style, he would make the decisions for the entire family and that would be that, but not anymore.