Sunday, October 17, 2004

How Many Mr. Bigs

How many Mr. Bigs can a girl have? Yesterday, i was having a small catch up session with one of my last single friends (we're a rare breed these days). She was telling me about her dinner with her Mr. Big. She says he tried to kiss her, but she did not respond, to my surprise. And to my bigger surprise, she said the reason that she turned down his tongue is that she is not attracted to him anymore!

I thought we're attracted to our Mr. Bigs forever, and that we have soft spots for them for ever! She then confessed that she has a Mr. Big II, and he is the one who holds the soft spot position!

So how many Mr. Bigs can we have? Can guys have their Ms. Bigs? And what defines a Ms. or Mr. Big?

Sheba Mubarak 3aleech il shahar

Tell me Do you have Mr.Big?

Well I used to have ms. big but she left and now searching for a new big. still i tell ya im really picky
3alaina o 3elaik Anonymous, thank you.

To answer your question honestly, i must say that what prompted me to right this blog is actually my investigation of whether i have a Mr. Big or not. I can answer that question when i define Mr. Big.

In my opinion Mr. Big is usually a player, and you know that he/she is a player before you get into the relationship. And his love is unattainable. This person is usually lavish in her/his lifestyle, and is older.

Now for my answer, no i do not have a Mr. Big. But i used to, and he fell out of favor because there is so much that you can take.

I think that getting rid of Ms./Mr. Big is a BIG achievement! So Bravo Anonymous, & Bravo Sheba!
mmm, what's Mr. Big?

The innocent Raven
In order to maintain (or try to - for that matter) a "Mr Big" one needs patience.. a commodity I can't afford.

Mr Big <--- Big Turn OFF
Remember how Sarah Jessica Parker got thrilled when Mr. Big kept her toothbrush next to his?
Well, a couple of weeks ago i got the same thrill when he called to say he's leaving to Berlin on business. He actually volunteered that piece of information without me asking.

A Mr. Big is nothing but a headache..a migraine.

And, No.. a girl can hardly handle one Mr. Big.
I don't know how you're friend's doing it!

So Sheba, how did you break free?
Oh sheesh, Shurouq your Mr. B is the silent type, i hate that type but i must say they are attractive.

Fact: the silent type volunteer information when the person they are volunteering is NOT a GF or a potential GF or an ex GF. The more they feel that you want nothing from them, the more they open up. Trick that always works, tell him he's your friend or even best friend. For some reason, Mr. Bigs feel threatened by girls who want them, because just that notion is a commitment!

How to get rid of Mr. Bigs:
1. Realise how many other good guys are willing to be with you and give you the love & time & dignity you deserve, then you will realise the lack of dignity that you have with Mr. Big. Why should you waste your time and feelings on someone who is not wanting you back in the same way or even more than you want him??
2. Do not watch the last episode of Sex in the City! It is fictional. However, having said that, Mr. Bigs know how much you're in love with them & they feel it is eternal. So when you switch yourself off them, they will also know it & they will eventually come to you. However, that would probably be too late (unlike in Carrey's case).
I never watched Sex in The City, I guess that there is where they give the definition of Mr. Big...

that Sex in the City is such a chick's show. No wonder most of us "guys" are puzzled by the "Mr. Big" thing.
Salaam 3alaaaikoooooooom
I haven't seen the last episode yet, but I've heard about its so-called 'happy ending'. As you said, it is fictional & surreal.. I'm not falling for it damn it.

Thanks for the tips babe.. :) highly ppreciated
I'm a male who has actually bothered watching quite a lot of Sex and the City, but I couldnt stand any more of it after season 3. Anyhow, I always thought Mr.Big was a complete a-hole, and Carrie was a dumb-ass to keep going back to him. I know that in the end they got back 2gether, but thats never the case in real life. Mr.Bigs are addicted to powertrips, so having a girl repeatedly go back to them(when their better judgment tells them not to) is extremely satisfying to them. Mr.Bigs also fear showing emotion, being vulnerable, and hate having to depend on anybody. They fear the openess of a relationship, and always keep themselves emotionally unavailable. All they do is give just enough love to keep their woman hooked.
Shurouq, any time :)

Thegooner: great analysis thank you, i'm sure it'll do a lot of girls/women a lot of good!
hi Sheba:What I believe there’s one Mr.Big he’s something special when u c him he takes your breath a way…the relation ship with him is like a roller coster that doesn’t mind u have small flirts with other men but when it comes to Mr.Big anything else will b on pause وووووووووووووواي اينن
Sheba Unfortunately yes : (
I am trying my best to abort mission, nanonano help …mako fayda
Nano, its 2004. Even Mr. Bigs have shelf lives now.
Mosan: CUTE! Please enlighten us on your Ms. Big experience!
Dear Sheba,

I believe you can only have 1 Mr. Big... it only comes once for serious people... but as in the case of people that are always on the market... there is 1,2,3,4,5,6..etc. Mr. Bigs or Ms. Bigs.. depends on the person to be honest

Bu Rashed.. Mr.Big wila Ms. Big
السؤال هو...............؟

مستر "بج" ولا ّ مستر "بغ"؟
Bu Rashed, Mr. or Ms. Big?
Sheba, your writings are very interesting.. they remind me of Carrie's in SATC .. if you don't mind me asking are you Kuwaiti? how old?
the reason I ask is not so many Kuwaitis share your views and your critical scope.
keep up the good work
Loulz, thats a HUGE compliment! Thank you :)

I'm Kuwaiti, 32, Female.
Sheba I thought you were in your early 20's... You look too mature to be a teenager, still you appear to be quite a honest and straightforward person.

In all cases,I feel that this mentality will accompany you all of your life, so good to your friends and acquaintances! ;)

Sam! Waini wain il teenagers?

But thank you for the nice things said :)
typically i only read what bloggers write but never had the desire to reply on anything – but your post Sheba is so interesting yet i cannot come up with a definition. its something that you can only feel; to miss her silly comments, to think about her when you are in a lecture or having an exhausting meeting.

"unnecessary comment": if you think for being 32 you are shebah then people must call me grandpa!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Not fair to post this comment as anonymous!

Thank you for your encouraging comments, i'm utterly flattered. Would like to see more of your particiaption, i'm sure you have a lot to say.

Clarification: I'm Sheba as the Queen of Sheba & not as in sheibah. Al7amdila tawinas 3al shaib & i'm sure you're not a grandpa either!
I think we can only have 1 Mr.Big in our lives. After all, that's why he's Mr.Big! Otherwise they'll just turn into Mr.Big, Mr.Bigger & Mr.Biggest.
I think we can only have 1 Mr.Big in our lives. After all, that's why he's Mr.Big! Otherwise they'll just turn into Mr.Big, Mr.Bigger & Mr.Biggest.
I believe there's only 1 Mr.Big in our lives. Otherwise they'd be known as Mr.Big, Mr.Bigger & Mr.Biggest.
Ok, I know it's been over a month since you all had this discussion, but reading through...I didn't actually see what I think a Mr. Big is....

He the woman who thinks of him as her "big".
- the sexiest man she has ever known
- the one who UNINTENTIONALLY broke her heart (meaning he broke her heart while lacking the intent to hurt her)
- she never cried for someone as she did for him, even though others may have hurt her in more direct and hateful ways
- they are perfect for each other; they have passion, they connect, true commonalities...but it's always timing (for him)
- they connect physically, emotionally and via their souls
- no matter how much time goes by and they don't speak, they somehow always seem to get back in touch with each other
- they have been lovers and friends, simultaneously and separate
- neither ever meets the person who makes them feel quite like the other did
- they have shared a lot with each other, things they have never shared with anyone else
- he never lied, cheated or played with her
- she always knows that he could be perfect for her and she is perfect for him
- he always disapointed her-in her heart
- he always hurt her in little ways, but never meant to
- she is the only one he can be himself with
- they both truly love the other, with all their heart and soul
- each life has been changed by knowing the other
- they both know that one day he will come back running for her...and she may be lost to him when he does

Final Note:

It's all qisma oo naseeb.
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