Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Sweetest Taboo

Why is it that we shy away from sex when it comes to our key board? I am curious about many issues, i have view points about many sex related topics, but i am guilty of turning a blind eye when i come to write. I will burn my abbaya and write about what my girl friends and I have spent hours talking about since we started taking Cosmo quizes.

My first question is:

1. How important is sex to a relationship?

Btw, this is inspired by my observation of couples and trying to tie which ones are more happy and is it linked to their sex lives. This was also inspired by the reaccuring question of 'if i had done that, what would have been the outcome'.


Mature, honest, comments only please

Comments:
Sex is not important in a relationship. You can have a good relationship with someone who is bad in bed, or someone who is not really interested in sex, as long as you two are compatible in other aspects and respect each other.
 
:) I agree purg.
 
Sex in a relationship creates some kind of intimacy, there would be an unspoken bond between the 2.

HOWEVER, having said that, i don't believe that love stems solely from sex.. there are more important factors.
e.g. being able to be completely silent with each other and still enjoy each other's company and there wouldn't be anywhere else you'd rather be.
 
Yes, that is love *wiping tears*
 
How happy would you be with your relationship if your hubby cant satisfy you in bed ? Common how many times have you dumped your bf/gf because of disasters in that dept ?

No, I think Sex is very importent in a relationship. Deep down inside, if your really really honest with yourself then I think youd agree with me. *grins*

1. How important is sex to a relationship?

The question wasnt : What is love....
 
I second Anaya.

You can have good sex and a bad relatioship but never the other way round.

But then again, people have different understandings to what a relationship is.. W kl wa7ed ynam 3ala eljanb elli yray7a.
 
Sex is great, it is a wonderful thing, but not everything. In a relationship there is lust and love, and after lust fades away you got to be sure there is some love or you got nothing.
 
Ok you're right this is about sex & not love. So let me share this study (data gathered by Sheba institute of sexology):

Lots of Good Sex --> man happy, woman happy
Lots of Bad Sex --> man happy, woman neutral
Little Bad sex --> man indifferent, woman frustrated
No sex --> man gay/impotent & neutral, woman frustrated & depressed.

I am sure there is also a category of Little Good Sex but i don't know any examples but i would assume that thats a little better than Lots of Bad Sex.
 
Dear Sheba,

This question needs to be analyzed, so bear with me.

The fact that you posed such a question means that it is important to you, if not, then at least to your friends who in discussing it passed this impression to you.

I think we have to place that question in context, like: who asks such a question, why and most importantly when?

Who asks it:
1-Bad sex partners who tend to underestimate its impact on a relationship.
2-Good sex partners who are not willing to spend their lives with lousy ones.

Why asking it:
1- Because sex does matter to you.
2- Because you are looking for a reason to quit the relationship and sex seems a reasonable excuse.

When is it asked:
1- When a relationship is on the rocks.
2- When you compare your relationship to others, and it is only people who lack confidence in themselves who compare their lives to others.

So I think what is more important than getting an answer to this question, is to know it's implication once it is posed by you or your partner. I believe the question itself tells us more about the relationship than any possible answer can.

I know that this is a long comment, but I am sure you understand why considering the nature of the topic.
 
Good that you agree with me on one thing finally :)
 
"Mature, honest, comments only please"

OK...

1. How important is sex to a relationship?

VERY IMPORTANT.
 
If The Sex is Good, then it constitutes 20% of the Relationship.

If The Sex is Bad, then it constitutes 80% of the Relationship.

translation (I think): Hot Frequent Sex (on its own) doth not A Fulfilling Relationship make. But, if the sex is disappointing and unsatisfying, then it will take center stage.

Gigi, wisely
 
I could not help but notice this, most of the female comments and post of course so far are from single women. The issue then becomes, the responses are based on perceptions, experiences told from others, or even magazines. Hence, the assumptions made, or views, cannot be considered as totally valid, unless the person speaks from an experience of the act itself.

Another point is, how can one define good or bad sex if the partners do not discuss it between each other? One might think he is Adonis, while the other might think she is Afrodite, but at the end, they are just mickey and minnie mouse (wonder if they have good sex?). This means that communication is essential between partners to ensure that the sexual experience is up to standards to what each partner needs. On the other hand, some people are just not comfortable with expanding intimacy, and see it as a deviant act.

My advice based on my experience is to make sure you have a direct line of communication, verbal and physical and give each other the time to adjust and understand each other's needs. Do not discard a person from the first time, or even the second time, it takes a few trials to get it to a decent level, unless both partners have previous experience.

This is not meant to be an attack on the female commentary, but rather an observation.
 
I could not help but notice this, most of the female comments and post of course so far are from single women. The issue then becomes, the responses are based on perceptions, experiences told from others, or even magazines. Hence, the assumptions made, or views, cannot be considered as totally valid, unless the person speaks from an experience of the act itself.

Another point is, how can one define good or bad sex if the partners do not discuss it between each other? One might think he is Adonis, while the other might think she is Afrodite, but at the end, they are just mickey and minnie mouse (wonder if they have good sex?). This means that communication is essential between partners to ensure that the sexual experience is up to standards to what each partner needs. On the other hand, some people are just not comfortable with expanding intimacy, and see it as a deviant act.

My advice based on my experience is to make sure you have a direct line of communication, verbal and physical and give each other the time to adjust and understand each other's needs. Do not discard a person from the first time, or even the second time, it takes a few trials to get it to a decent level, unless both partners have previous experience.

This is not meant to be an attack on the female commentary, but rather an observation.
 
how about some male comments?

no comment.

slam
 
Wanted to share this with you
(I got it as a txt msg so don't take it seriously)

Smart Female + Smart Male= Healthy relationship
Smart Female + Stupid Male= Marriage
Stupid Female + Stupid Male= Pregnancy (out of wedlock)
Stupid Female + Smart Male= Sexual relationship
 
Purg & Shurouq: Single females are concerned & asking because we do not want to end up like our girl friends (married but not satisfied emotionally or sexually). But i think sexless single girls are better off than frustrated married women because we still have hope beyond toys.

Gigi: very true!

Guys (i know ur out there reading but not commenting for some reason): Emotional satisfaction is very important to us girls & all it takes is being nice & sweet & a bit of admiration... then there is no such thing as a girl whos bad in bed.

Girls: good dancers make good lovers.

Married girls: take initiative & imagine he was some one else (for those arranged marriage victims).
 
Ops, 1st point (above) is to purg & shosho.

Btw Shosho, what do you do?
 
Yeah I was surprised you mentioned shorouq first :).

(coded message: P4 has decided to turn blue)
 
You have to define the relationship first, but knowing the amount of sexual tension we have here between the genders no matter how blatonic or innocent the relationship between a guy and a girl sex will sneak in somehow. Is it important for any relationship to last...No

The percentage of guys who have sex as an expression of love not lust: 0.5%

The percentage of girls who have sex thinking they are in love 95%

The percentage of girls who regret having sex with any guy - yes even Brad Pitt: 100%

The percentage of girls who ask for marriage after having sex : 90%

The percentage of guys who have sex just to add to thier "Hit List" : 95%

The percentage of girls who regret waiting too long to have sex: 0%

The percentage of guys who regret waiting too long to have sex : 95%

The precentage of retarded guys : 95%



Bo Jaij
 
Sex plays an important part of our lives. When humans are striped from all the moral issues and what not, what’s left is basic instincts such as food, sex, etc. It may seem that I don’t believe in love. But I do in my own way, love is when you connect not co’z you two have things in common but you do in a more deeper way not the way you think, the music you listen too. But you get each other, you just get each other and that’s it.
 
Interesting comments, thank you people for all your honesty. I learnt a lot. Your resourceful comments have encouraged me to go on with more ;)
 
sex is an essential human need. some think men want it to for the biological satisfaction and women for the emotional one but, as a man, I tend now to need it for the emotional satisfaction; to know that you are connected with your lifetime partner, that is my wife, and you are satisfying her biological needs, by orgasm, and her emotional ones, by being around and enjoying her body. lets me say that when i was young husband, got married when i was 21, things were not that much .. hummm "mature". sex was the most important element in the relationship with my wife. but by now, the act itself means less physically but we do it to enjoy the "spiritual communication". so what i am trying to say it depends on how close are you and what sex means to you!!
 
Sex is the seed,
Love is the flower,
Compassion is the fragrance.

But of course a seed without nourishment stays a seed.
And a flower without proper care withers.
I know this comment came way too late but I couldn’t help it :)
 
Great Blog! Ilike it.I have Site where you can Find sex partnerTake a look if you have a minute. Thanks and have a good one!
 
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