Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Option Two

Smart Girls Have Option Two

I was talking to a friend of mine, who has been going out steady with her boyfriend for some time. We were laughing at an insider joke, when I told her that smart girls have Option Two.

Option Two is the back up plan for Option One. Meaning, if her long term boyfriend defaulted in popping a ring or in failing to commit, then she should have Option Two. Option Two is the contingency plan, if Option One fails to materialize.

What do you think of Smart Girls’ Option Two?

I know it works, we’ve seen it so many times, but I must warn, HAPPINESS is not part of this package. The Option Two plan only guarantees a ring on your finger a couple of children.

So how ethical/unethical is the Option Two plan?

When should a girl start planning for Option Two?

Should these issues be discussed with the Boyfriend?

Note: Sheba is NOT smart

أنا اعتقد أن من دب الّهر كان في الخطه الثانيه..واللي شاف درس خصوصي عرف شلون سعاد لجأت حق خطّة اللخمه و خطة الباينباق عشان تييب راس نوح

و أي فتاة عارفه شنو تبي في حياتها لازم تكون عندها
Option Two
على قولتك

وبعدين لايكون تييب طاري حق صديقها..لازم ما تكشف أوراقها
uUuUuUuUuUum ,, Girl ,, ur nasty ;P

la`a 7abebety YaNaaiTayee ?? Finding a Quality man here is like finding a quality man in New York (Impossible) let her stick by her man!

umm ok ,, No should not discuss it with the BF ,, its like sayin " Widdy Bas Mista7Yaa " LooL . So No No NO !

UMM ,, when to go to plan two ? when she is desperate.

i do not recommend it. i wish ppl be more into commitment no matter what.

Thats just my rough opinion.

Much Luv to U all ;***

nano!! la tensain khe6at il khethra!

What I'm proposing, is that Option Two comes in when the BF is not commiting (so its kinda mutual).

Galbi 3awarni when you said Quality men! WAINHUM!?
considering that 99% of men are pigs ( I would have said 100% but that would sound like an Arabic election), I think each girl shold have option 2 before considering option 1.

Good Luck girls
I think option 2 is smart (in some cases) but I don't have an option 1 to start with ..

The real issue should be about how to actually get your options!
You're a wise man!

hehe absolutely! Maybe we should join dating 101!
i know .. i swear i know what you meant ,, BUT .. if i saw my man cheating i would talk to him about politely and give him another chance BUT not disconnect him and go for another guy " instantly " and honey ,, who are we fooling ?? that girl who has a second plan is already " looking around " be4 even starting to use it ,., couz ,, the other hunk is obviously talking to her from time to time ,, its not like he was on hold till she said " Aloo ?? ahllain ,, umm ,, ishloonik ?? ,, wallaaaaaaaaaaaaah il 3atheem ( with a hair flip) inyy walhana 3alaik .. "ina kaydaHonaa 3atheem"
LooooooL ,, so all in all she should give another chance ,,

and girl let me tell you this ,, there are alot of quality men out there but the funny thing is ,, i dont really see them with women. U figure. and when i say quality ,, i mean ,,

on time
wild ommaH oo obooh (figure)
and hunk

sometimes Virtue is included.

im in that state of happiness lakin alot of straight ppl just dont know when to forgive ,, when to forget ,, which makes them loose men who need a second chance

Alexis might back me up later


Hair Flip! LOL


I Don't believe in second chances, once trust is broken, its broken!
aaah, complaining complaining complaining.... grow up girls, marriage is a dead institution and what lives is its ghost. The new social order is to be hard working, financially independent and have long term relationships with rebounders in between. Thats the new social order for men and women. The sooner you deal with it the happier you will be
I actually have option two :) but I did not start with option one yet :/
ok I'll explain, I made a deal with a friend that once I reach a certain age, I'll marry him ;)
This deal expires once I have option one :)
It isn't bad to have option two, actually it's smart to have a back-up.. We all need one atleast! yes that was "atleast" coz I already have different back-ups and none of them knows about the other LOL! Shocking? not untill you know that one of my back-ups is a girl LOL..
ok! I'm straight!
I see myself as option #3.
Sheba ,, ?? You are my best friend automatically ,, i totally relate and dig you girl ,,

looooool Hair flip is a must in this sick society
and about second chances ,, 7abebety, they are a must ,, i mean come on !!

i dont really feel that your cold hearted ,, i really dont ,,

i dont know how to say this ,, but its not like a part of you falls or your dignity is stepped on ,, on the contrary ,, it shows how sweet and sincere you are. at least it it works for me.
Would you rule a guy out just because he doesn't want to marry? :)

Sheba IS smart.
Option two, not too smart.
i think there should be 3 options incase option 2 withdraws from the track.
bashrooosya, tet7rsheeen ha :)
Ya bakhtey!

Bu Bader,
Stop being so negative please! Plus, Allah i3een lo ma inta u want to get married BAD!??


LOL! I think that fits your character ;p


Of course i would leave him if he doesn't want to marry. I'm not sebeel, its not the 60s & I want to be a mommy! AND, most guys do want to marry, its just a matter of who! How often have we seen a girl break up with a guy because he doesnt want to marry & a year later he's married (to some1 else)?

hehe you have a willing candidate for Option 3 (Purg)
Sheba, That was a joke :/
but I do have one friend as a back-up..

Flamingoliya, I agree but WHERE the hell is option one??????????? :(
Dear Sheba,

I have a great Poem for you: (inspired by your post)

Bloody men are like bloody buses-
You wait for about a year-
And as soon as one approaches your stop
Two or three others appear.

You look at them flashing their indicators,
Offering you a ride.
You’re trying to read the destinations,
You haven’t much time to decide.

If you make a mistake, there is no turning back.
Jump off, you’ll stand there and gaze
While cars and taxis and lorries go by
And the minutes, the hours, the days.

A Poem by : Wendy Cope

did i miss something? what's an Option 2?
Wanasa !! all of a sudden im HOT !! Yeaaah Baby ,, !!

and then again ,, still think about second chances ,, they are a MUST
Bu Bader... Truer words were never spoken!
Option two sounds like combo number two in Mcdonalds

I only go for a second option when eating out in a new restaurant, I never risk it with just one main dish.
I go for two or even three.

Its all about feeling safe I guess. We lost our sense of safety as a country when Saddam invaded and the ones who were supposed to protect us left us. ANd just like gambling in the stock market, you never feel safe and you always look for a cushion to fall onto.

There is always Kakaw in one of the kitechen drawers, just in case the craving is just too deadly.
Bu Bader, you like women feet, and your words are golden.. I think since BB is the new best friend of Sheba, I want to be your best friend.. :)

Sheba, I have a back up, we had an agreement seven years ago to marry at the age of 30 if we were still single, but when the time came *now* for her at least, we were/are both still single, and got freaked out, so we pushed it for another five years.. allah yaster min the 35 years old !! that’s the new plan.. when we get to 35 and still single we’ll marry.. :P

Yeah am a unique option, and hmm bashroosya has to think about it but I think sarah is also interested, or is she! :P
Sheba, im not being negative, its the opposite, i think im the only one being positive!
All you girls are sad and depressed for not finding the right guy who meets your unrealistic standards! Thats very negative, at least in my book. I think that the 'positive' way forward is to admit that a change is happening, and try to understand it in stead of fighting it. And when you do, embrace this change.

Dont you get it? all this frustration, anger, depression is because you women are swiming against the tides, and not accepting the change.

Fine! you want to reject the change? well do something about it! Dont just bitch about it!Invest in relationships, invest in people! Only then can you bring about a new change or succeed in changing tides.

In other words, enough ME ME ME! I want! I want! I want! "when will we get married" "Im a girl, i have the right to be treated like a princess!" And demand the outrageous!

You should understand your partner, invest in him, accept his shortcomings and celebrate his strengths, make him feel like a man, and when you do, babe, you will scream like a woman!

The truth is you and every other girl are actually princesses, but not the sweet older ones who were born before their fathers became kings. You are their younger sisters, younger princesses, the high-maintenance brats! (Im not talking money here, im talking about attitude).
Thats what I have to say. Oh, one more thing, you know how you always tease me about me only dating older women? well you know why? thats because the older women are more often than not less braty, and more realistic than the younger ones.
Zaydoun, great, you agree, try explaining that to them women!
The Don,

You want to be my best friend? dude, you've been hanging out in this girly blog for too long :P
Thank you for the poem, but for some reason i don't feel this way. I am single because i still have not yet my fate (or maybe i have, and it has not happened yet), or maybe my fate is to be with my favorite person in the world (me) ;)

Ma 3alaik min Bu Bader, mayet yebi yetzawaj tarah!

Did you always feel unsafe? ;)

The Don,
It seems many of us have made this arrangement when we were younger. I made this agreement with a friend (we were 24ish at the time), and we never mentioned it when we hit 30. I don't know if i can marry him, never looked at him 'that' way.

Bu Bader,

How dare you generalize about us!!

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
How dare you call me a BRAT!

me of all people!!

I am the most independent woman I know! Infact i am more independent than most men i know, more than you Bu Bader.

Just because you burry yourself in your job, it does not make you more successful or independent.

Success is in the balance of life.

In fact, i seriously think i am happier than most people i know too.

I am more honest than you. How many times did you contemplate telling your family to find someone for you!??

I cannot believe the hypocracy!
You hate heterosexual men,

Hmm, now i know what issue is

You said it not me:P
Key Word is MODERN, Not hetereosexual
Oh & thats because Modern heterosecual men are confused between what they want, what they expect, and what they can have. They live a continuous dilema.

1. Lets be friends, but lets mess around

2. Lets have sex, but not commit.

3. Lets start a relationship, then see how it goes.

4. Lets get married, but you pay the rent.
For the record, she is very independent, very honest (as you can see), and sincere! Which makes her the best friend any man or woman can get.

(my head still hurts from the bang i got from her - im cutting my losses)

-she is the best, dont you think?

I dont know about modern men, but in regards to me, i agree with the first three, sometimes ( I can be honest too sheba!), but not #4!

No wife of mine will pay the rent!
hehe flattery works, you know it does (especially when i've let off some steam).

I kinda feel like Liz Taylor in The Taming of the Shrew!

Any Richard Burton's out there? ;)
Bu Bader ,, has a point but generalizing is not working ,,

Sheba ,, Liz Taylor works JUST FINE ,, i mean that woman is a survivor ,, i adore her and her accent too.

Back To You ,, Listen girl let me give it to you Row ,,

Boyfriends act silly couz they are simply insecure ,, honey can`t u just feel it ?? they talk to more than one gal just to avoid the embarresment of her leaving him first /// about payin for stuff ?? Girl pa LLeeeZZZ !! He aint payin for none couz he aint on da same LEVUUL (LEVEL) " thats my south african american accent " LooL

No i mean seriously ,, this is how i live ,, i depend on myself ,, and i expect NOTHING from my partner .. i repeat NOTHING ,, why ?? couz im not a needy guy ,, and if and for any reason my partner bought something (which he does) my ratings go over the roof.

all in all ,, its been less than 6 years now since we'v been together and i didnt get into this mood of totall happiness till the 2nd year ,, Now i think you know what i meant when i said they need a second chance .. Girl Work it Work it ,, i know ur smart and i know u can get your way
Humble points:
1-Being greedy in relationships won't get you anywhere.
2-Not giving a second chance = Indirectly saying "I wanna break-up with you politely"
3-Straight People! Gay People! All kinds of people! Beware of official commitment discussing!! and just have fun...
4-Relationships are hard hard hard, and hold on to your partner, finding a quality partner in this town is like finding LaToya Jackson's first CD, it purelt depends on luck and coinsidences.

BB where's the man who wants a second chance??!! Warniya NOW
getting cushion 3 (anony. that was funny!) doesn't mean you must have option 1 ;)

la mo ga3da at7arrash. that was my honest opinion.
but if you're interested i wouldn't mind. option 3,4,5 you name it.
i'm sure that at that age (when option Purg becomes handy) i'm gonna
need some mind stimulation (but i sure hope it's not gonna be penguins again)

now incase Sarah is serious, ham i wouldn't mind. i like her already.
we can have a joint house (yeet bagool blog!) wouldn't that be interesting?

invest in bu bader! invest!(before i start investing) :P
BB baby, you're so soothing! Ok as you can see from my blog character (which is very true to my real character) is that i'm a 'don't mess with me' kinda gurl. It works. If you allow them to walk all over you, they will! Its human nature. Respect & Respecting boundaries and feelings is essential. If it suits you to forgive the deadly sins, then I salut you for your forgivness. I don't think i can EVER share. Bitch to da bone!! I LOVE LIZ TAYLOR. I wish I had her eyes (and jewelry) ;)

Alexis Alexis!! Why be polite when he's cheating on you!? I think this is the perfect time for some drama!

I love commitments. I don't think i've ever been with a guy who hasn't commited to me (some way or the other), but obviously it doesn't last. Yemkin ga3deen igisoon 3elai :((

But seriously, i think we all want that special someone. That forever love.

lol Latoya! I think she's gorgeous btw.
Oh BB, I am HAPPY for you :))))
i love your blog. i live in the US. (yes i know bush sucks) whats it like in kuait? email me at dramaqueenmill@yahoo.com

Bon Appetite please go ahead, invest in Bu Bader PLEASE!

3ad wine3m feeh


Love your name! Thank you for your kind words, & for coming here. (btw, i have a baseball cap that says 'DRAMA QUEEN'). Hope to see you more often :)
ThannnnK U Sheba ,,

if you havent seen Cleopatra " Liz taylor " u better get your ass out there and buy it ,, ITS FULL OF TRUE BEAUTY !!!

LooooooL ,, U r a " dont mess with me " girl ,, im the " hi can i help you " guy ehehhehe ,, but im always smiling and always happy dont know why its just me ,,

by the way im listening to SNoop feat Justin Timberlake " Signs " 7aDhaa itYaNeeN il sooong malat ishwayaT saaaMrii ,, HizaWoo !!!
u can always add ,, some boom boom shaking ,, LooooooooooL abaih yannait !!
flfl, I will think about it :)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Wow, Sheba, yet another heated and impassioned discussion on your blog...I missed the action!

Let me add my bit to it by saying that when I was 18, I also made a pact with someone I grew up with to marry them should we both not be married by age 26 (we thought that was so old back then). We even shook hands on it. At 26, he got married to a wonderful woman who is my friend today, they have three kids and I am so happy for them both.

With regard to myself and the idea of keeping any number of my "options" open, I have long given this notion up having seen how you cannot control your destiny and the direction it will take you, despite what control you are under the illusion you have. There is just no predicting who, when, and how you will find the person who you marry or if they will be "right" for you at the stage of life you are in at that moment or future stages even. Or even if it will work out long term!! Or if you will be happy!!! All you can do is live your life the best you can with what you are given.
I just want to say that I love this Blog..

your blog is the first to read everyday :)

you go girl!!!
first blog ha! zain zain ya sarah :P

Then you will really really hate me.. :P
khleeek mosta'baleee zayi ya don, esm3 kalameee ya ragel.
Purg, e First! sometimes before even checking my blog!
Purg.. I'm with you all along.. :P
Sarah, still, I should be first miss proposal!

Don, yes we form a tag team aganist the women of the blog-o-sphere, need to make a big fort around us from their attacks. :)
I love the wardrobe & make up in Cleopatra! Must watch it again! Samri on Snoop lol :**

Missed you girl, good to see you here. You're right, you do the best with the hand that you have been dealt. But this brings us back to the classical debate of 'il insan mukhayar or musayar'?

Sarah Sarah Sarah!
THANK YOU! This means so much to me :** You know what? My blog is taking over my life (from 8-4, on week days :p). If i get fired, please make me a bake sale and send the funds to my Mustaqbal Account (so i can continue shopping at Top Shop) lol


The Don,
I hate male ego's. I once almost lost one of our biggest customers because at a meeting infront of all his staff i said 'i will not tolerate any more of your male ego'. Pride is good, ego is NOT. Just makes a man ugly. Its the equivalent of 'i know i'm pretty & i can use it' to a girl, but on a guy it sounds like 'i'm going to be arrogant because i have a penis and a lot of testosterone'.

I love/admire kind, gentle, wise, humble men, who know how to leave their egos (in their bedrooms).

Seriously, just because i am a woman, i do not have to tolerate the ego BS.
I love the gurly solidarity of the bloggerinas.
mashallah 3ala shno, ana 7asdtech :P
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