Saturday, July 02, 2005
SET UPS
One week ago I went to a reception with my sister. I was wearing a black & grey brocade skirt from Whistles and a bubblegum pink crepe blouse from M by Missoni. Shoes were very high healed Gucci’s, matt gold.
I saw a well dressed lady (in Missoni and a hijab), in her mid to late thirties, very pretty, checking me out. I thought she looked familiar, but couldn’t place her.
As we were leaving, the hostess whispered in my ear ‘someone was asking about you’. My reaction, ‘who?’ Hostess ‘I’ll tell you later’.
I totally forgot about that night, until yesterday, my phone rings and it was the hostess. I ignored the phone call, only because I had just woken up and didn’t feel like being socially polite (ajamel). So, the hostess text messages me a few minutes later that she wants the address of my work place!!
So I did well not answering.
A few hours later, she calls back, I apologized for not calling her back, and she asked me again for my work address, claiming that someone wants to do business with us. (Note: the hostess doesn’t even know what our company does). So I told her ‘tara if this is a trick, I don’t meet people without prior appointment’. It sounded bitchy, I know, but I couldn’t help myself. She said ‘I will make sure they call for an appointment’. I was going to say ‘but I do not handle local clients’, but I bit my tongue, deciding that she’s too sweet.
I HATE SET UPS, they feel like you’re on display (a.k.a. meat market) especially when they’re one sided (i.e. when I don’t who or when someone is going to walk into my office- AND it doesn’t help that my office is 1 big mess and I rarely bother with how I look when I go to the office). And from experience, the guys who ask to be set up are on top of my reject list, along with many other girls before me and after me (until he finds THE ONE).
Shraykum? What do you think of such set ups?
I saw a well dressed lady (in Missoni and a hijab), in her mid to late thirties, very pretty, checking me out. I thought she looked familiar, but couldn’t place her.
As we were leaving, the hostess whispered in my ear ‘someone was asking about you’. My reaction, ‘who?’ Hostess ‘I’ll tell you later’.
I totally forgot about that night, until yesterday, my phone rings and it was the hostess. I ignored the phone call, only because I had just woken up and didn’t feel like being socially polite (ajamel). So, the hostess text messages me a few minutes later that she wants the address of my work place!!
So I did well not answering.
A few hours later, she calls back, I apologized for not calling her back, and she asked me again for my work address, claiming that someone wants to do business with us. (Note: the hostess doesn’t even know what our company does). So I told her ‘tara if this is a trick, I don’t meet people without prior appointment’. It sounded bitchy, I know, but I couldn’t help myself. She said ‘I will make sure they call for an appointment’. I was going to say ‘but I do not handle local clients’, but I bit my tongue, deciding that she’s too sweet.
I HATE SET UPS, they feel like you’re on display (a.k.a. meat market) especially when they’re one sided (i.e. when I don’t who or when someone is going to walk into my office- AND it doesn’t help that my office is 1 big mess and I rarely bother with how I look when I go to the office). And from experience, the guys who ask to be set up are on top of my reject list, along with many other girls before me and after me (until he finds THE ONE).
Shraykum? What do you think of such set ups?
Comments:
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Yeah slight editing, I was still lost in the first part because I have no idea what bubblegum pink crepe is.
forget it...
لو شنو....أصلا أكره شئ بالدنيا شعور البنت أنها كأنها قاعده بفترينه...والناس يتطمشون عليها
لو شنو....أصلا أكره شئ بالدنيا شعور البنت أنها كأنها قاعده بفترينه...والناس يتطمشون عليها
Sheba, it depends, many people from this culture is accepting such kinds of set up, I know many guys (very local minded) were set to meet their wives like that, and yes, they are living a great life, with kids and all.. so I think it depends on the person him/her self.. I, for instance, would never get setup like that where I get to see the girl, talk to the girl, and only if I like her then I’ll give a green light for things to go on, where on the other end, the poor thing has no idea of what’s happening.. I would love it if our eyes met while we are ordering the same order at a coffee shop, or a nice smile while holding a door for her, I believe that the best love stories get to happen on its own.. no rushing, no setting up, that’s why I have never been out on a blind date..
But hey that’s just me.. :)
شغل محلات بيع السيارات مو نوعي كلش
But hey that’s just me.. :)
شغل محلات بيع السيارات مو نوعي كلش
purg, please dont hate me
nano, e 7ada, i always say ina ana mu vetreeena! I told my sis this sucks, he's only here to checm me out, if he likes how i look or not! Very degrading.
Bora, LOL tha7akteeni. ITS SO BORING ALSO.
The Don,
I3jebatni salfat opening the door :) But then how would you approach her?
nano, e 7ada, i always say ina ana mu vetreeena! I told my sis this sucks, he's only here to checm me out, if he likes how i look or not! Very degrading.
Bora, LOL tha7akteeni. ITS SO BORING ALSO.
The Don,
I3jebatni salfat opening the door :) But then how would you approach her?
C&N
walaa anaa weyaak fee kelmaa gelt'haa
its hard here in kwt to find a girl and date her for long time then u say u wanna marry her or not
i think setup is very good way to marry some one here cos some times ur sisters or mother or friends can see or meet more girls than u do
well just one thing u have to tell the girl whats goin on do just go by and see what will happen she must know whats goin on just like u
yalaa good luck
walaa anaa weyaak fee kelmaa gelt'haa
its hard here in kwt to find a girl and date her for long time then u say u wanna marry her or not
i think setup is very good way to marry some one here cos some times ur sisters or mother or friends can see or meet more girls than u do
well just one thing u have to tell the girl whats goin on do just go by and see what will happen she must know whats goin on just like u
yalaa good luck
I HATE SETUPS! i can't go to any dinner parties or weddings or even be at work and feel comfortable when 3arab are around, they always want you to marry someone they know... it's not about what you want its about what they want. i hate that. maybe im just too americanized, bas its aggrivating... ooh my brother in law would be great for you, or my son, or nephew, or whatever, it makes me want to just yell 7illo 3anni!! ughhhhhhh
They just want an excuse for a wedding so they can wear the overpriced dress that they bought bdam galbhum
Ok this is my honest opinion on why set ups are not attractive to me:
1. They're scary (the unknown factor, especially when u do not know whos going to walk into you office).
2. Fear of rejection. Maybe he will not accept you.
3. Fear of failure.
4. Fear that he's close minded, or not romantic enough for him to think of a cute way to meet you.
5. Fear that because he's such a geek, he cannot meet girls on his own (he needs a referal). And yes i know the counter argument to this one is 'what do you want him to do, roam around the streets looking for his future wife?'.
6. Because the selection (you, the person being set up) was based on social criteria (family, education, wealth, height, weight, age, etc.) it feels very scientific, and you feel that you must be scientific too, except that this person must be: graduated from an Ivy league school, earns KD 6000/month, is 6 ft tall, handsome, well dressed, polite, knows his art & literature, well travelled (aka a renaissance man).
What i mean to say, is that in such arrangements, one tends to be EXTRA picky because the choice was not based on who the person is, but what he/she is.
7. Fear of you rejecting & thus hurting the person.
1. They're scary (the unknown factor, especially when u do not know whos going to walk into you office).
2. Fear of rejection. Maybe he will not accept you.
3. Fear of failure.
4. Fear that he's close minded, or not romantic enough for him to think of a cute way to meet you.
5. Fear that because he's such a geek, he cannot meet girls on his own (he needs a referal). And yes i know the counter argument to this one is 'what do you want him to do, roam around the streets looking for his future wife?'.
6. Because the selection (you, the person being set up) was based on social criteria (family, education, wealth, height, weight, age, etc.) it feels very scientific, and you feel that you must be scientific too, except that this person must be: graduated from an Ivy league school, earns KD 6000/month, is 6 ft tall, handsome, well dressed, polite, knows his art & literature, well travelled (aka a renaissance man).
What i mean to say, is that in such arrangements, one tends to be EXTRA picky because the choice was not based on who the person is, but what he/she is.
7. Fear of you rejecting & thus hurting the person.
Crappy,
A school mate of our's got married right after high school, and she was SO ugly meskeena that she looked freekish.
My best friend & I were talking about our surprise that she would get married and my friend's dad said 'ugly girls get married first because they take the first opportunity that comes there way, for fear that another may not come along, and attractive girls marry last because they are always in search of a better deal'.
A school mate of our's got married right after high school, and she was SO ugly meskeena that she looked freekish.
My best friend & I were talking about our surprise that she would get married and my friend's dad said 'ugly girls get married first because they take the first opportunity that comes there way, for fear that another may not come along, and attractive girls marry last because they are always in search of a better deal'.
On the topic of set-ups: If Im single and looking I love em. If not I HATE EM. You never know, you "could" meet someone really interesting.
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On the topic of finding a wife, well Ive found that in order to meet someone, you have to drop your pride and take crazy risks. If "you" wanna hook yourself up.
I mean abroad its a lot easier, but hey, weve been living here long enough to know the system. Like a girl? Walk up to her, just talk to her. See how things develop...
If you really love eachother you can beat "System".
If not, you can always get engaged, (Ahem kuwaits "legal" dating method)
Bleh my 2 cents...
--------------------------------
On the topic of finding a wife, well Ive found that in order to meet someone, you have to drop your pride and take crazy risks. If "you" wanna hook yourself up.
I mean abroad its a lot easier, but hey, weve been living here long enough to know the system. Like a girl? Walk up to her, just talk to her. See how things develop...
If you really love eachother you can beat "System".
If not, you can always get engaged, (Ahem kuwaits "legal" dating method)
Bleh my 2 cents...
Exactly! I swear it's like we're pieces of meat, or some item they liked and picked out for their son! I hate that!
Besides set ups and arranged marriages, is the way women are regarded in this society ( a burden). Check out my post, talks about something similar:
http://dishevelled.blogspot.com/2005/06/frustrated.html
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Besides set ups and arranged marriages, is the way women are regarded in this society ( a burden). Check out my post, talks about something similar:
http://dishevelled.blogspot.com/2005/06/frustrated.html
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