Thursday, September 01, 2005
Muta Marriage
If you haven't followed the bloggersations that Q8Sultana and numerous bloggers had regarding muta, here is a glimps of it (oh and its taking forever for the previous post/comments to open for some reason, so for everyone's interest, i will post the last 2 comments here- and yes one of them is mine ;r)
q8Sultana said...
I think he's just trying to be safe than sorry.
He really seems to believe that this is the only way for us to be together as a couple. After a few weeks of knowing each other, he said he likes me and would like us to be more than just friends, but the only way he can do it is if we do muta. He said if I don't want to then we can stay just friends.
Surely sex is not the only thing that differentiates just friends and more than just friends, and he will only do any of that through muta. That involves even anything as simple as holding my hand, or hugging me.
If this is what he believes is right, I'm not going to make him change his mind. I don't even know enough of the subject to argue with him.
Why is everyone freaking out about this?
3:13 AM
Sheba said...
Q8Sultana,
Everyone is freaking out because
1. Muta means 'pleasure'.
2. It is SO against what we all are trying to change about respect and equality to women in this society and we're kinda shocked that you are accepting it to yourself. Reminder: HE CAN HAVE INFINITE WIVES.
3. It is an obsolete marriage which was permitted during wars some 1400 years ago and some perverted cleric has decided he wants to have some fun so he brought it back.
Thats all.
Please note we're not attacking you, we're only trying to dissillusion you.
Best Regards,
Sheba
q8Sultana said...
I think he's just trying to be safe than sorry.
He really seems to believe that this is the only way for us to be together as a couple. After a few weeks of knowing each other, he said he likes me and would like us to be more than just friends, but the only way he can do it is if we do muta. He said if I don't want to then we can stay just friends.
Surely sex is not the only thing that differentiates just friends and more than just friends, and he will only do any of that through muta. That involves even anything as simple as holding my hand, or hugging me.
If this is what he believes is right, I'm not going to make him change his mind. I don't even know enough of the subject to argue with him.
Why is everyone freaking out about this?
3:13 AM
Sheba said...
Q8Sultana,
Everyone is freaking out because
1. Muta means 'pleasure'.
2. It is SO against what we all are trying to change about respect and equality to women in this society and we're kinda shocked that you are accepting it to yourself. Reminder: HE CAN HAVE INFINITE WIVES.
3. It is an obsolete marriage which was permitted during wars some 1400 years ago and some perverted cleric has decided he wants to have some fun so he brought it back.
Thats all.
Please note we're not attacking you, we're only trying to dissillusion you.
Best Regards,
Sheba
Comments:
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Sheba, I think the point q8sultana is trying to make is that to her whether it was proper marriage, mut3a, or no marriage at all, it would not make much difference to her.
I am not condoning mut3a here, as we all know it's a legal form of prostitution - but I think q8sultana doesn't mind pre-marital sex in the first place (that's what I undertood). It's her boyfriend who is freaked out of the idea, and this arrangement seems to please one party, and means nothing to the other.
However, q8Sultana needs to understand a crucial thing: in our culture, when a man proposes mut3a to a woman, it is regarded as a sign of disrespect. Q8Sultana, were you aware of that when you said "I do"?
I am not condoning mut3a here, as we all know it's a legal form of prostitution - but I think q8sultana doesn't mind pre-marital sex in the first place (that's what I undertood). It's her boyfriend who is freaked out of the idea, and this arrangement seems to please one party, and means nothing to the other.
However, q8Sultana needs to understand a crucial thing: in our culture, when a man proposes mut3a to a woman, it is regarded as a sign of disrespect. Q8Sultana, were you aware of that when you said "I do"?
awasha82, q8sultana isnt kuwaiti. and I believe that as long as there are values we should respect differences :)
Sheba and q8sultana very interesting topic :)
Sheba and q8sultana very interesting topic :)
How can one speak when they have no knowledge?
Prostitution? Perverted cleric?
How unethical and dishonest is the similar practice allowable in Sunnism. Marry a woman with intention to divorce without telling her and then divorcing her after you've gotten yr way. This is disgraceful and haram.
In Shiism, muta is naturally agreed upon by two people. It is used by lonely unmarried people, divorcees, and widowers, potential couples wanting to get to know each other in a halal way, etc. It doesn't even have to involve sex or touching. Everything is agreed upon prior to the muta marriage. There is a contract, a mahr, etc. It is practical. It is not makrooh but not haram either. Nikah marriage is preferable and highly recommended but if it is not possible for whatever reason, muta marriage is the solution. Muta marriages even can turn into Nikah marriages. Abuse of muta is highly discouraged and virgins are not allowed to engage in muta. What is better...to suffer from loneliness, to marry an unworthy, incompatible person for life, to not know yr partner at all and then find out he is a wife beater or she is critical and mean or what?
Muta marriage in Shiism is not the same as taking the services of a prostitute. If this is so, then the companions once took the services of a prostitute as well.
How can one of the companions declare haram what the Prophet (as) declared to be halal. (How can someone who has not received the revelation from Allah declare what is halal and haram.) Brother, even Abu Bakr's daughter Asma contracted a muta marriage. So was Asma a prostitute?
I suggest you educate yourself, people, and not perpetrate the same old tired lies.
For starters, why don't you go to al-islam.org and start reading.
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Prostitution? Perverted cleric?
How unethical and dishonest is the similar practice allowable in Sunnism. Marry a woman with intention to divorce without telling her and then divorcing her after you've gotten yr way. This is disgraceful and haram.
In Shiism, muta is naturally agreed upon by two people. It is used by lonely unmarried people, divorcees, and widowers, potential couples wanting to get to know each other in a halal way, etc. It doesn't even have to involve sex or touching. Everything is agreed upon prior to the muta marriage. There is a contract, a mahr, etc. It is practical. It is not makrooh but not haram either. Nikah marriage is preferable and highly recommended but if it is not possible for whatever reason, muta marriage is the solution. Muta marriages even can turn into Nikah marriages. Abuse of muta is highly discouraged and virgins are not allowed to engage in muta. What is better...to suffer from loneliness, to marry an unworthy, incompatible person for life, to not know yr partner at all and then find out he is a wife beater or she is critical and mean or what?
Muta marriage in Shiism is not the same as taking the services of a prostitute. If this is so, then the companions once took the services of a prostitute as well.
How can one of the companions declare haram what the Prophet (as) declared to be halal. (How can someone who has not received the revelation from Allah declare what is halal and haram.) Brother, even Abu Bakr's daughter Asma contracted a muta marriage. So was Asma a prostitute?
I suggest you educate yourself, people, and not perpetrate the same old tired lies.
For starters, why don't you go to al-islam.org and start reading.
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