Monday, January 02, 2006

What Diid I Miss?

I was talking to a very good friend of mine, and she sounded down. Her boyfriend had been missing for four days, and when she finally got through to him, she found out that something very bad has happened to his nephew.
Thats fine, and may God help them through this, but i asked her "why didn't he call you or pick up his phone during these four days?"
This wasn't the first time this happens to her or to other girls I know, recently. Which made me think, what happened to men/women calling their loved ones for comfort? Isn't these times of crisis when we should be needing each other most? Why are men allowing themselves more and more reasons to "cave in"?

Read: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Explains that men are dumbasses really who prefer to cave in and deal with their problems, whereas women who are the superior race chose to just talk about their problems until they themselves realize a solution to such problems. Men prefer not to say anything and yes I hate it when they do that. Ugh.
One of my mate's has a bf who disappears on her for days. He always manages to come up with a good enough excuse, but still I think its BS!
i know what you mean!!! it drives me crazzzzy! bss al7emdalla the guy im with not doesnt do that! wa ana the type that if i have a problem or a crisis, i call him 3ala 6oool for comfort and an ear... so now he does the same....we basically made an agreement to NOT shut our phones or ignore each others calls when in crisis... its not fair to have a one or the other worried for days...

but to be honest with you, i had a freind that had a bf who have a "crisis" and had to be left "alone" for 3 damn months!!!!! i dont know HOW she does it, but she puts up with him and his BS!!! and the crisis wasnt as big as he made it seem to be!!

take care.............*_*
I dont know why we do it. I personally have done it on numerous occasions for some of the strangles, smallest and silliest of reasons and end up hurting the people I care about the most.

I personally am learning to work on it, cause it happens in random situations like work and not necessarily in a relationships.

The best thing to do is put some limits and compromises for situations like this before they happen. So when they do occur both parties know their roles and the extent of it.
Read it, & we all i have i think, by now.

1. The caving that the book talks about is lack of communication regarding the issue which is troubling a man, and not disappearance!

2. For me, disappearance shows lack of respect and disregard, and no girl/person who respects herself should accept this.

3. Wain reyayeel awal? I want a man from my grandfather's generation. Aku?
I think you, and other men do it because you know that the girl would be waiting worried about you and she'll just be glad to hear that you're okay when you finally to call her back!

When men find a good woman they abuse her, and when she's a bitch they cry over her.

love you girl :)
akeed its BS!

Low self esteem?
Love you mucho :*
Ouch you make it sounds that we enjoy doing it. It happens and we live in our world of denial as it happens and let it eat us up inside.

We do want to reach out, but that would make us seem vunerable or something so we just deny stuff.

Basic system is not to call repeatedly and harras with messages or stuff cause that makes it worse. A simple casual sms to contact when ready is the best thing. The more you try to reach us the deeper in the rabbit hole we go.

Thank you for the explanation. I feel for you. But when put in such situations it just hurts so much because for us, it translates as "you're shutting me out" or "you're neglecting me, mistrusting me, hurting me, disregarding me, etc.."

I think these are new relationship issues, and it really really hurts when you know that your "significant other" is in daily contact with female friends, but not with you.

We've all been through these situations before, and i am only in hopes that exceptions to these typical male types do exist and ekoonoon min naseebi and min naseeb catch-22.

And insha'Allah 3ammek mu askmakh!
When a person dissapears like that it means they do not love their significant other. Basically they are having a problem and so they don't want to deal with the other person's 'BS' or having to 'BS' them and keep up whatever act they have on.
That is one way of looking at it. Personally when I do feel like not talking to any1, I will at least msg people to let them know I will contact them when I feel better. The hassle is when they don't leave you alone, but then you can ignore them and thameerkum mirta7.
Why are men allowing themselves more and more reasons to "cave in"?
ما اعتقد انه هالشي على العموم
لكن فيه رجال هذا طبعهم يفصلون بين علاقاتهم العاطفية ومشاكلهم لانهم يدورون على الحلول بسرعة بينما النساء يبون من يخفف عنهم بالحجي والنياح ومو مهم حل المشكلة ما تشوفون بالبلوغ النساء الأكثر بالتشكي في العلاقات العاطفية
بس ما يضرهم عزيزين على الرجال
بس لو اهم يخففون الحنة والتشكي جان ارحمونا
ليكون سبا انتي حنانة
شيكتي وربا ولا لا ربحها الربع الثالث 125 فلس وسعرها مناسب الحين
Like I said it happens, guys dont pick out the person it happens to. It could be his significant other or any family member or friend.

And like you stated these situtations happen. The real issue is to deal with them before they happen.

I make it a point to mention that problem in any relationship I am in be it friends or a lover. A sort of peliminary warning system for later use if needed. Suprisingly just mentionig that I do have these tendencies stops them from happening with that person.

It is best to just deal with it when it happens, overreacting just makes it worse.
Let me try to understand, do you consider a guy calling his loved one and explaining the hard time that he’s going through, and the need of space, disappearance?? I for one have to be on my own when faced with really hard time, it’s how I deal with it, I’ll share all the feelings of the world with my loved one, but when I feel I need to be all alone, I’ll explain it to her, and make sure that she understands that it has nothing to do with her, and I still love her to pieces and worship her, but sometimes I need my own space to deal with things.. from what I understand from your entry and your further explanation, that the guy just vanishes with no heads up or warnings.. in my opinion, this guy might be looking for some drama.. cos there is nothing wrong with actually explaining why he is in need to be alone..
I'm more like The Don. I'd rather be on my own. That's why I don't get along with (7anna) people. But you should always explain. ya3ni don't expect others to understand what's your going through without explanation!!! this guy should have told her about the situation and not just disappear! It's her right to know what's going on.

I don't know why, but I have this feeling that he's making this up.

Remember awwal itha il rayyal tizawaj 3ala morta ygoolaha rayi7 il 7adag? maybe that's the 'new' 7adag
hahaha papi, la they're related so we have verification that the story is true.

Note to all: La mane3 min il TABLEEGH 3an il 7aja lil en3ezal.

P.S. Maku men like grandpa?

La ma3indi cash, kila 7a6eta 3ala ALAMAN and 7a6a eedi 3ala galbi.
"When a person dissapears like that it means they do not love their significant other."
I totally agree!

"The real issue is to deal with them before they happen."
I can accept this, since feeha mura3at lil shu3oor o taqdeer.

the don,
Wainhum 3anek bess?
Sheba, :*

لا مانع من التبليغ عن الحاجة للإنعزال


غصبا عليك تبلغ عن حاجتك للإنعزال! فوضه اهي فووووضه؟؟؟

2:51 PM
The Don,
Waii al7een i'll be on some jealous girl's hate list again ;)

hehe ta3jebni il faz3a ;)
u know what

m3 e7teraami ilshadeed to you guys.. but seriously.. unlike us, you PMS on a daily basis

you talk like you guys are the ONLY ones who have problems.. yakhy grow fucking UP.. we ALL have fucking problems.. we ALL have OVERWHELMING burdens on our goddamn backs.. bas what do we do?? NAKEL TEBEN and we go thru it because thats how it is.. there is NO other option unless you want to be a coward and pull a dissapearing act


and they wonder why lesbians are increasing hal youmain
*they may NOT be there
guys= Men
What catch-22 is trying to say is that we (women) have our own issues to deal with and we do not burden anyone with them. We have the strength and courage to live and love.

Allah yer7umek grandpa :*
When I was in London, I came to Kuwait for 2 days to see Boo. We've talked on the phone the morning I agot here and were planning on spending the rest of the day together. I woke up and there was no trace of him whatsoever. It drove me crazy! He managed to call me few hours before my flight telling me his dad had a stroke. I got so mad at him for not calling me.

I always wonder how on earth would I know that nothing bad had happen to him, since the only way of comminucating is through phone!

lucky me, we've talked about it, and now he is working on that. He is trying his best to give me a call or sms when possible.
My name is Shurouq and I'm a caver-inner

It's not intentional and I don't do it to test anyone. It's just that I'm not so good at communicating.
hon ,, a direct answer ??

He`s LIE + ING to her.

im sorry but thats the truth ..
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