Monday, October 13, 2008
Cultural Backlash: Weddings
I remember the days in the 80s: when male bands would sit within the women-only weddings, when the photographers were men, and the groom would come in to the women's wedding with half his neighborhood, all his diwania friends, and all his relatives, and anyone else in the men's wedding that wanted to come along.
Towards the late 80s and early 90s: the weddings became more segregated, with men coming in the women's wedding for limited periods. Women, if they wanted to dance, would cover up their bare shoulders with a shawl.
In the early to mid 2000's: if the groom comes in with his brothers, that is considered avant guard (the excuse being: the bride doesn't want to cover up or wear her hijab); the bride's father even ceased to show up (an old tradition says that the father of the bride should not come in to his daughter's wedding, was revived). If there happened to be a male band to come in for a short time, or if the groom is sitting and a girl or woman decides to dance, it was considered shameful, 3aib.
This year: Men are allowed back in, band members are there for longer periods, celebrity male singers are allowed in for longer, the father of the bride is a vital part of the wedding, the bride wants to dance, the groom is cheering her, and the dance floor is filled with frolicking women and girls.
Is it a backlash against the oppressive laws put into effect by parliament in the past few years (like segregating the sexes in universities)? Or have we become less of social hypocrites?
Comments:
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well, i would have to say that people are changing everyday which therefore changes their views.
honestly, its not the oppression that is making people act this way nowadays, but its the preference of each family that is having a wedding...
you should know that in the 80's il9a7wa ilislamia started which made people more conservative, but now with being open to the globe, people are learning new things every single day..
honestly, its not the oppression that is making people act this way nowadays, but its the preference of each family that is having a wedding...
you should know that in the 80's il9a7wa ilislamia started which made people more conservative, but now with being open to the globe, people are learning new things every single day..
i just think everyone is tired of the moral police wannabe's breathing down their necks for every aspect of their lives
the constant phrase and attitude i keep hearing is "screw it"
the constant phrase and attitude i keep hearing is "screw it"
# posted by 
: 10:10 AM
: 10:10 AM
I'm with Geo.
Social hypocrisy will always be an issue, but I think it's backlash for sure now and all the better.
I am sick and tired of the nature of the relationship between men and women being defined ONLY on sexual terms. So are A LOT of other decent, moderate or conservative normal Kuwaiti citizens. I mean, when even the father and brothers presence at a woman's wedding is deemed racy and controversial, you know something is very wrong and very distorted with a culture.
I was raised with wonderful men who were exactly like -no ARE - my brothers to this day, and they strongly feel the same way about me too. My father grew up considering the girls of his freej (neighborhood) as sisters whom he had a duty to respect and protect, not just as potential mates to consort with or lust after at every moment. Ya3ni relationships between men and women were far healthier, and this was reflected in their interactions at every level in Kuwaiti society back then. No need for this constant twisted reminder of reproduction at every single darned moment of our lives, even the most joyous and innocent.
It's a matter of rejecting the unhealthy over-sexualized manner fundamentalists want to use to describe every interaction between men and women, as if their whole individual identity and psyche is hostage to their genitalia and hormones. That's what I think is starting to happen. People are just saying "NO".
So hats off to dancing brides and the grooms who cheer them on :)
Social hypocrisy will always be an issue, but I think it's backlash for sure now and all the better.
I am sick and tired of the nature of the relationship between men and women being defined ONLY on sexual terms. So are A LOT of other decent, moderate or conservative normal Kuwaiti citizens. I mean, when even the father and brothers presence at a woman's wedding is deemed racy and controversial, you know something is very wrong and very distorted with a culture.
I was raised with wonderful men who were exactly like -no ARE - my brothers to this day, and they strongly feel the same way about me too. My father grew up considering the girls of his freej (neighborhood) as sisters whom he had a duty to respect and protect, not just as potential mates to consort with or lust after at every moment. Ya3ni relationships between men and women were far healthier, and this was reflected in their interactions at every level in Kuwaiti society back then. No need for this constant twisted reminder of reproduction at every single darned moment of our lives, even the most joyous and innocent.
It's a matter of rejecting the unhealthy over-sexualized manner fundamentalists want to use to describe every interaction between men and women, as if their whole individual identity and psyche is hostage to their genitalia and hormones. That's what I think is starting to happen. People are just saying "NO".
So hats off to dancing brides and the grooms who cheer them on :)
# posted by : 6:51 PM
: 6:51 PM
basically the kuwaiti and arab societies are splitting into two major parts
the conservative sector ,is getting more conservative and the free sector which is becoming very free , the middle of the roads is disappearing fast and leaning towards conservatism
all of this is reflected in the weddings woman see .
the male wedding ceremonies are the same like funerals , just salam , mabrook and hit the buffet and then send the groom to his inevitable trap , i mean to the women wedding celebration
BTW first time for me to comment here . For some reason weddings get me all excited
the conservative sector ,is getting more conservative and the free sector which is becoming very free , the middle of the roads is disappearing fast and leaning towards conservatism
all of this is reflected in the weddings woman see .
the male wedding ceremonies are the same like funerals , just salam , mabrook and hit the buffet and then send the groom to his inevitable trap , i mean to the women wedding celebration
BTW first time for me to comment here . For some reason weddings get me all excited
# posted by : 7:55 PM
: 7:55 PM
"Real" Kuwaitis are going back to their "real" traditions, and rebelling against what was imposed on them by the Islamists.
This is very interesting, it seems the back lash is gender related.
think-become,
ilsa7wa ilislamia started in the 70s & i don't think globalization has anything to do with our weddings, i think its vice versa: Globalization has spread fundamentalism & some of our weddings have become an expression of our rejection. How about that?
Geo,
Screw it can mean: i dont want to conform, or i don't want to act as if i am conforming. But i agree, SCREW IT!
Ms. B, you nailed it!
Daggero,
1. We are all conservative as a society, so lets not use this term to describe fanatics.
2. "Free" is not a nice term to use on people, you can use "modrate@, "liberal", and "open-minded".
3. Why do you think there is a split in our society?
Bo Jaij,
Real Kuwaitis are the founders of these Islamic police societies, (for political & economic power) sadly!
think-become,
ilsa7wa ilislamia started in the 70s & i don't think globalization has anything to do with our weddings, i think its vice versa: Globalization has spread fundamentalism & some of our weddings have become an expression of our rejection. How about that?
Geo,
Screw it can mean: i dont want to conform, or i don't want to act as if i am conforming. But i agree, SCREW IT!
Ms. B, you nailed it!
Daggero,
1. We are all conservative as a society, so lets not use this term to describe fanatics.
2. "Free" is not a nice term to use on people, you can use "modrate@, "liberal", and "open-minded".
3. Why do you think there is a split in our society?
Bo Jaij,
Real Kuwaitis are the founders of these Islamic police societies, (for political & economic power) sadly!
It differs from one family to the next... but I never understood why some families go to all that expense only to have the bride - ON THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF HER LIFE! - just sit there and not move for 30 minutes and then leaves with the groom... and then the guests get to enjoy the band, buffet, etc
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Sheba.. it's been ages since I commented here. I realized I didn't add you to my Google Reader (my new addiction). You're on it now!
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