Plushness

Innocence is not lost forever. Mine was sacrificed at the tender age of four. I regained it in my teenage years, with the love of my family. Now I feel that God must reward me for the years I lost. I feel the reward must be big to make up for the pain. Perhaps I am not grateful to all that He has given me.

I’m fighting life to maintain the sparkle in my eye, which we are born with-- the innocence, the happiness.

It feels like a belated identity crisis, but its not. I see my pictures and here it is: 1 eye has it, the other eye sad. In an older picture, 1 eye hurt and the other hopeful. In a recent picture, both eyes hopeful but both damaged.

I am losing me in this battle to save myself. I do not accept me as a broken soul.