Plushness

It was 10 am and Faisal had not called nor text-messaged her, which was unusual for him. The night before, he lead their conversation into future plans, the number of children he would like to have with her and what he would like to name them. Lama was on the receiving end, and did not participate much, partly because he took her by surprise, and partly because she did not feel they were ready to talk about such details.

Later in the afternoon Faisal called her, and seemed preoccupied, and he did not make any plans with Lama, nor did he ask about her plans, as he would normally have done. She did not ask either, but she felt something was different.

She went shopping with a friend and his call came again.

Faisal: What are you up to?
Lama (knowing he wanted to see her): I’m shopping with Basma at Marina mall.
Faisal: You wanna have dinner with me?
Lama: sure

At dinner, there was something in his eyes that was there a day before. He couldn’t hide it, and she could see it and feel it.

On their way to their cars, she stopped him so she could look into his eyes. She could still see what she saw and felt earlier and she decided to ask him..

Lama: Whats wrong sweetie.
Faisal: Nothing, I’m okay.
Lama: I can see something different.
Faisal (pausing and suddenly not looking at her anymore): I want to be honest with you. I... I’m not sure what I want.
Lama: You mean you’re not sure if you want this relationship?
Faisal: Yes.
Lama: Or are you not sure about me?
Faisal: That too.
Lama: Oh.

She got into her car. Did not look back. Numbness took over her body and mind.

Can you be attracted to/ have fantasies about a cousin (not first, that's too gross)?

As she expected, Hamad called at 1 am on Thursday night.

Hamad: I missed you.
Lama: Me too (involuntarily replying).
Hamad: How are you?
Lama: Good

They both knew it was over before it even started, but he wanted to hear her voice, to hear that she was okay. Lama was happy that he called, not because she missed him as Hamad, but she missed him as a friend. She knew that even this friendship would have to be distant. They are too different in many ways.

Lama thought of Faisal, it has been a month since their first date and she knew where it was heading. She felt guilty for answering Hamad’s call and she did not want to lead him on, so she decided to tell him.

Lama: I’m involved.
Hamad: Really? Since when?
Lama: Almost a month now.
Hamad: Is it serious?
Lama:Yes it is.
Hamad: Can I know about him?
Lama: Sure.. (and she told him)
Hamad (smiling): Lama I am happy for you, you deserve only the best.

Lama knew she would never hear from Hamad again, which did not sadden her, and she was glad that she had met him. It is through these experiences that she has become who she is today.

Lama spent the next week in solitude, for she was too tired by the time she commuted back to London, and because she had not called any of her London acquaintances earlier, was not going to do so just because her plan changed.

On the night before her flight, Faisal called. She spent a few hours on the phone with him. She understood that he was interested, but she did not read into it.

Upon arrival to Kuwait, she headed towards the ‘limo’ area to get her ride home, and she caught a glimpse of a familiar figure.

Faisal stood there, smiling yet nervous, not sure what Lama’s reaction would be.

She started walking faster, and her smile grew on her face until she stood opposite him. Her heart sped. She didn’t know what to say. All he said was ‘hamdila 3al salamah’, and they walked to his car together, in silence, yet communicating loudly.

In the car, he asked her ‘breakfast?’ She looked at him for a long time, smiled and nodded. Suddenly she was a shy 16 year old.

She drank coffee and nibbled on her omelette, too anxious to eat, while he had a sandwich, which was way too little for his appetite. Her phone rang, it was her mother, wondering if she had arrived. After that phone call, it was as if her vocal cords were ready to work. They started talking and their breakfast went thru to lunch.

She knew what was happening, but wouldn’t think about it. That was their first date. Only the night before Faisal was telling her that a relationship with no future is not a relationship, and now, he who has been avoiding relationships for the last 10 years of his life, is starting one. She smiled. Why hasn’t she guessed this was coming? And why has she never acknowledged her feelings towards him before?

Yes, she is certain now that Cupid is an alcoholic.

This is how i spent the 1st day of my blogging break:

1. Blogged on other people's blogs.
2. Had my lunch early (at 11 am).
3. Went to fill my car with gas, withdrew cash from the ATM.
4. Got a pedicure & a manicure.
5. Got a trim.
6. Blow dried my hair.
7. Came back to office.
8. Ordered Nescafe from Yanadi.
9. Started blogging.

o salamatkum.

HOW DO I GET BACK TO ACTUALLY DOING WORK!?

Hello bloggers & bloggerinas,

I'm taking a break from blogging for a few days.

Have too much to do & mani gadra arakez.

C u soon.

Love ya all.

& Yes, there will be a part 4 (finale)

I had a long argument with a cousin about polygamy. At the end, I said ‘you know what? If I could marry four guys, I would. I would marry one who I enjoyed having intellectual conversations with, another who would make me laugh, and another who was athletic (I couldn’t think of the fourth)’.

So he said, ‘so why don’t you marry an intellectual, athletic guy, who can make you laugh?’

I said ‘and what if I don’t find one?’

So I woke up asking myself, would I really do it? And here was my conclusion:

If I was not married to ‘the one’ (and I do believe he exists), then yes, I would do it.

So, would you?

Chatting with a friend, who’s relatively fresh of the boat, he said ‘Kuwaiti girls are liars’.

I said: Your fingers are not equal
He said: True, but the majority of them will act as if they are Virgin Marrys and then you find out they are far from that.
I said: Hmm
He said: And even if a Kuwaiti girl was honest with me about her past, I don’t think I would accept that she’s slept with another man before me.
I said: Where as you would accept it if she wasn’t Kuwaiti?
He said: Yes
I said: No wonder they lie to you!

She woke up late and rushed to get ready and ran to get the train to Reading. She barely made it on time for the introductory speeches of the conference. She got back to London at 7 pm. Too tired to think of what she can do for the rest of her evening. She ordered room service and switched on the ‘telly’. Slowly, she began sinking into depression. All the laughs she had with her friend the day before at how fast she got over Hamad have turned into sadness. Many thoughts crossed her mind, in efforts to find an explanation of Hamad’s sudden loss of interest.

Was he expecting a bimbo and was disappointed that Lama was too refined for his kind of fun? Wasn’t their long deep conversations was what kept them going for so long? Wasn’t he so head over heals over her in their first date that he practically could not stop expressing how crazy he was over her?

She called him. He answered his telephone from the second ring.

Lama: Hi
Hamad: Hi
Lama: Why didn’t you call me?
Hamad: I thought you never wanted to hear from me.
Lama: That was yesterday.
Hamad: Did you miss me?
Lama: That’s not important. I want to talk to you.
Hamad: I’m with a friend, we just got to the hotel, we’ve had a long day, how about I pass by tomorrow?
Lama: I thought your friends left today?
Hamad: One of them stayed on with me, I asked him to, thinking you were not going to see me.
Lama: Aha.
Hamad: How about we all go out tomorrow?
Lama: What?
Hamad: you, me, my friend, & his GF.
Lama: You mean double date? I didn’t do that when I was a pre teen, and will not do that now.. and last time I checked I was still Kuwaiti. Have you any confusion on that?
Hamad: So? His GF is not Kuwaiti, and he’s a good friend of mine.
Lama: You’re insulting me. Do you think I’m a bimbo? Why would I wanna be out on a date, in the company of guy I don’t know? Don’t you think I worry about my reputation?
Hamad: he is really cool, I think you’re over reacting
Lama: You continue to insult me. Listen, adri inta betkhaf 3elai, bess shdarani itha refeejik bekhaf 3elai wila la?
Hamad: Okay I’m sorry, you’re right.
Lama: and I can’t see you tomorrow, I’ll be in Surrey till 9:00 pm.
Hamad: So I’ll see you after nine?
Lama: You’re too tired to see me now because you spent the day in a movie and shopping, don’t you think it’s a bit unrealistic of you to think that I will not be tired tomorrow after a 12 hour day?
Hamad: I can’t come now habeebti, I’m too tired. But I want to see you tomorrow.
Lama: No, I’ll be too tired, sorry.

She shut the phone feeling more depressed.
That day, Faisal did not call her, and there was nothing to watch on all 40 channels.

She woke up really late, and very lazy. She ordered her coffee and scones to her room and she called Hamad, as he had asked her to wake him up, so they could go to Richmond together. Hamad sounded lazy too, so she suggested that they stay in London, and do some easy promenading. He supported the idea, and they met at the lobby, and then went to an ultra modern looking café not far from her hotel, and had a nice long and lazy chat. They parted on a kiss, and they were to meet again in the evening for dinner.

At 9 pm, just as Lama was putting on her dress, Hamad called to apologize that he will not be able to make it because his friends were leaving the next day and they were upset that he would not spend the last evening with them. She paused for a minute, and told him she would call him back. She lit up the coal for her bukhoor, and finished getting dressed, and then called him back.

Lama: Elloo
Hamad: Hala habeebti
Lama (cringing at his words): I would like to also apologize, I would not be able to see you for the rest of the week.
Hamad: Habeebti, I am coming now to talk to you.
Lama: No need, nothing you can say can fix things, nor is there anything you can say to change my mind, nor do I want to see you, nor speak to you.
Hamad: Habeebti please, at least I called to apologize.
Lama: okay very good. Bye.

She left her hotel room, had dinner, picked up a few records, and went to watch a movie. Upon returning to her hotel, her phone beeped. It was a message from Faisal. She text messaged him back. And a few messages later the context became outwardly flirtatious. She was a little confused with Faisal, and she messaged him an inquisitive message to try to understand what is behind this flirtation. He did not reply.

Twenty minutes later, her phone rang. It was Faisal.

That surprise visit was the end of Faisal's vote of admiration towards Lama. And hence thoughts of what that could have meant faded.

Meanwhile, Hamad decided to go to London early with his friends. He called Lama upon arrival to tell her he is staying at the Berkely, and that he would be picking her up from the airport. She could hear his friends in the background, and yes there were female voices too.

She was uncomfortable with the call, inspite of his sweet gesture of offering a pick up from Heathrow, and it was not the female voices in the background. Perhaps she was being possesive and the thought of his friends being in London meant there is less time for her. She told her self not to be childish and quickly abandoned this thought.

On the night before she flew, she called him and there was no mention of the pick up. Figures. He was tipsy. Still this did not dampen her enthusiasm, and whats been done is done. She's still going to London 2 days before her duty resumes.

In London, she called to tell him she had arrived and he asked her where would she feel comfortable dining (it was prime Kuwaiti time in London, ant they didn't want to risk bumping into anyone from back home). She couldn't think of any places that would be 'safe', so they decided to play it by ear.

He came to the Sanderson to pick her up, and she did not recognize him. He was shorter than she recalled, and much less attractive than her memory served her. He also had a weird walk, as if he had muscles that would disallow him from properly moving, except he had none. He was wearing a T-shirt that looked like the Burger King uniform. And he was in awe.

It took all her might to see beyond the outside. To remember the nice things about this man: he is intelligent, he's honest, he's open minded, he's he's nice.

The night turned out nicely, they went to dinner at Jack's and spent the rest of the night at Candy's (a lesbian bar). He could not stop admiring her, and she could say nothing in return. But his looks did not matter much by now. She was seeing Hamad, the man she has connected with, bitched to, and confided in.

As the day unfolded, Lama became more and more comfortable and more excited at the fact that she would see Hamad in London.

She left work, and went straight to Raya to find drop dead gorgeous clothes and shoes (guys aren’t really into bags). What would she wear on their first date? It would not be the first time he sees her, but the first time in this context. Where would the first time be?

Hamad called, and she could hear he was in a car and she could hear people talking in the background. He missed her, he is tired from beach all day and party all night program he’s been enjoying in the past 2 weeks. All of a sudden he wanted substance. He wanted Lama.

They have often talked about dating and her decision was always that she would not want to because she doesn’t believe in relationships and she’s seen too many fail. He never argued against her decision.

Hamad never pushed her. He was happy to be able to talk to her, to admire her. He loved her outlook in life. She made everything seem so rosy. He even started reading her horoscope to know more about her!

Lama found her heart beating faster, and her palpations would not stop. She laughed at herself and he laughed with her. But secretly she resented this feeling. She wanted to be in control. She does not want to get hurt. And she does not want all this excitement to be one sided.

Her phone rings again and its Faisal, the son of her parent’s friends. Of course for many years, her parents have hinted at how blissful they would be if she would marry Faisal. Lama and Faisal would always laugh it off. Faisal had just moved back to Kuwait, and they’ve been bumping into each other quiet often in social gatherings. The last time she saw him, he was a little bit flirty, which was unlike him, but she did not give it too much thought.

Faisal: Ha wainech?
Lama: Fil Raya.
Faisal: Ok I’ll be there in a few minutes.
Lama: You need something from here?
Faisal: No. See you in a bit.

Lama thought that was odd, because Faisal has never done that before, they have never ‘hung out’ not even as friends, but did not give it too much thought.

As she was leaving the Celine boutique, she saw him. He came up to her and in his eyes was a look full of admiration. And again Lama tried not to think of what was going on.

Faisal: Lets go have coffee.
Lama: Are you okay?
Faisal: Yes, I just want to sit with you for a bit.
Lama: Okay.

They sat at Waterlemon. She ordered hot chocolate. He did not order anything. His eyes said a lot. She couldn’t ignore it anymore. Lama started to wonder what has she done to call for that look of kindness and admiration. It was almost as if he was saying ‘I love you’
Without thinking, she blurted out ‘why are you looking at me like that?’

She wanted to kick her self, to jump to the ground floor. But he ignored her and a few seconds later he snapped out of it.

They went to see a few shops together, and he left to go to his 6 o’clock meeting.

She stood there, a little speechless, but smiling, and thinking ‘when it rains it pours I guess, or maybe this is a good buffer for me to not be too excited about Hamad and London’.

She arrived at work early, to prepare for a meeting. She found an e-mail from the CEO asking her to attend a conference in London. She wasn’t too happy about leaving with such short notice and why hasn’t her immediate manager informed her in person. Moreover, the date of the trip was the day that Hamad was to return back to Kuwait. She would tell him when he called, it was still too early for her to call him.

Her meeting went smoothly and as she left, she could hear her extension ring, she walked faster to get to her phone and it was Hamad. She wasn’t accustomed to receiving personal phone calls on her office line, and it was a pleasant surprise.

Lama (voice slightly sad): habeebi, I won’t be here when you come back, I’m going to London, so I guess we’ll meet when I come back instead of next weekend.

Hamad: Are you mad? I’ll meet you in London, its a 3 hour flight from here and I would like our first date to be somewhere where I can take you to a nice restaurant.

Lama (pausing for a second only to realize and think quickly if she should encourage his plan, was it ‘appropriate’, would it be in line with sticking to basics?): The conference is 40 minutes outside London.

Hamad: Can’t you go a day early so that we do not have to be rushed.

Lama (she got excited at the thought, but paused to think again, she wanted to be more certain of what she wants and what he expects): I don’t know sweetie, I will try.

He ordered breakfast and decided to call Lama before she would start worrying why he did not call.

Lama’s phone rang, and involuntarily her face lit up with a big smile.

Lama: ‘Eloo’ (her voice warm and her smile evident)

Hamad: ‘Hala habeebti’ (happy to hear the longing in her voice, which suddenly brought him to realize how much he had missed her).

Lama: Shlonek habeebi

Hamad: Ana zain bess walhan 3alaich.

Lama (her voice colder now as she became suddenly conscious of the fact that he had not called her last night and that he had been 2 hours late): How was your evening? (as she uttered her words, she could hear his reaction and she wished she had stuck to basics, but she couldn’t help it, she wanted him to answer).

Hamad (noticing her slight change of tone which would normally compel him into silence, but he did not want to risk upsetting her further): We had a great time swimming, and then we went to my favourite bar, and then to an outdoor party at one of the islands. I cannot wait until I see you.

Lama (more comfortable now that he had not been reluctant to answer in detail): I missed you too, and my heart has been fluttering at the thought of seeing you.

Hamad (glowing with Lama’s surprise show of affection): Just for that, I will try to cut my vacation short.

Lama looked at her watch. It was 1 hour past his usual calling time, and he hadn’t called. Hamad was very precise in his timing. He had told her yesterday that 3 of his friend’s girlfriend’s friends were joining them and she had thanked him for his honesty. Lama did not feel that she had the right to allow or disallow Hamad from anything. At this point, she does not even know if she wants to be his ‘girl friend’. The thought of a woman sharing his bed, did not turn her stomach yet. She cares about him a lot. She would not call him because she’s trying to go back to basics. To a time where a girl was not able to call a guy because she would fear her parents from finding out, to a time when a guy would call when it was the right time for him to talk. She was hoping that he would call her as soon as he was up for it.

There she is, in his memory. He wanted to hear her voice, but was afraid to call. She might ask him ‘how was your evening habeebi’ and he will not be able to answer her honestly. He will not be able to say ‘it was great my love, I wished you were with me, but I ended up sleeping with one of the girls we were out with, and I’m very sorry’. He cared about Lama. He did not want to hurt her. He will call her after he’s eaten, his head is pounding right now, and he had to deal with his hangover.

First, is it me, or is it everyone? The better the stock market, the more i slack off at work!

Second, how much of your vices should you reveal when getting to know 'someone'?

Third, how do you entangle hair that has been professionally teased & sprayed into a humongous hair do?

Satyan, our dispatch supervisor, who's salary has just been increased by 50 Kuwaiti Dinar's to 200 KD won a half of a Kilo of gold. He bought a gold chain during the gold festival and he won 500 grams of Gold. I am so happy for him. His wife just gave birth, and he has a one thousand two-hundred dinar loan. He is the sweetest, most hard-working, kindest, most helpful person i have known professionally. He deserves it!

Khosh Satyan. Yestahel.